I've been feeling a little up and down lately. I think it has a lot to do with getting back in touch with myself after a long period of just going pedal to the metal. I had fun, but I couldn't hear myself, or feel myself or even see more than a few feet ahead.
Imagine being in a car going 200 MPH. Your hands would be at ten and two on the steering wheel with a glaring focus, you'd be screaming with exhilaration and freedom, and your anxiety would be through the roof. You wouldn't be thinking much of anything else, but how to not crash this car and the road in front of you.
I've spent a lot of my life like that. ^
It's fun, it's exciting, it's exhausting.
And when you stop that car, you're tense in places you didn't know could be tense. You wonder what even happened. You have to catch your breath and feel your bones in your body again.
And when you do, it can feel heavy, awkward, lonely, and even sad. There's a comedown. And if you stayed that speed for long enough, there's a part of you that's upset you didn't come back to her. That you didn't stop and check in. That you didn't pull over and enjoy the stillness of the journey. And then you face her, in all her protest and overwhelm and sadness and even feelings of betrayal and you gently begin tend to her until she feels calm with you again.
That's me and me right now.
Here's what's feeling good to that part:
1. Doing courses with friends.
The accountability, the intimacy, the bond, the growth, the fun. 10/10 recommend joining a membership, course, challenge or program with a friend.
2. Asking people you think are cool/interesting to hang out.
Adults will cry all day about being lonely or having a hard time making friends at their age, but hardly ever put themselves out there. Oh, hello, me? Am I talking to me? Yes. I got lucky TWICE this month in the social department though and let me tell you how:
1. I got invited to a local launch party and I wrote a personal message declining the offer. The woman who was hosting it wrote me back and I followed her on Instagram. She followed me. I commented on something. She emailed me the next week asking if I wanted to meet up since it seemed we had a lot in common. I affirmed the sh*t out of her because people hardly ever do this! And of course, said yes! Now I know someone cool in the area!
2. I was sitting in a coffee shop and saw a girl around my age with cute style. I side-eyed her a few times between sips of my chai and busied myself on my laptop. I already feel weird about being out alone (need to get over this). She was waiting for her drink right next to me and I could feel her looking at me a few times. Finally, I just spat out, "you look so cute!" She was so flattered, we ended up talking for about twenty minutes and exchanged contact info with plans to hit a pilates class together.
PEOPLE WANT CONNECTION. DESPERATELY. We're all just scared AF. But let's be brave. Together.
3. Journaling when you're stressed out or confused.
It's been proven that the best thing you can do to feel better is to name the emotion you're experiencing. But sometimes, it's not so easy to just do that - especially if we're feeling disconnected from ourselves (which is when/why we get stressed/overwhelmed). What helps? Journaling. Journaling reconnects us with ourselves. It helps us feel, hear and see what's going on so we can truly address it. I resist this practice like the rest of you, but seriously, it's like free therapy.
I am so grateful for my members. I am so grateful for the magic. I am so grateful my diligence in this creation. I'm so proud of it.
5. Bold Pants.
Nothing new, they just haven't been appreciated enough here. I love them. I stand by them. They work for me, I will work for them. Bold shapes, bold patterns, bold pants. Thank you and I love you.
6. Getting a boba and going on a long nature walk.
I know it's specific, but just do it. Trust me. You will be happy.
7. Zum Clean Laundry Patchouli Detergent
It's earthy, it's warm, it's clean, I wish it was in more eco-packaging, but at least the ingredients won't kill me and I love the smell!
8. Desire lists.
Make one and don't hold back. Go off. Go crazy. Be unrealistic. See what becomes liberated in you. See what comes true.
9. When in doubt, gratitude.
I've been stopping, dropping and writing gratitude lists as often as possible. Sometimes they go on and on, sometimes they're just two things. Whatever I have time for, I try to squeeze in. ESPECIALLY, if I'm feeling low, being critical or feeling stressed.
