My little rave boi brought me to the electronic music festival, EDC in Vegas last weekend and it was everything I expected, more than I expected and nothing I expected all at once. < What? It's hard to put so many feelings into words, but I'm gonna take a stab at it. I was PETRIFIED of going and for about two weeks leading up to it, I had anxiety that got worse and worse. It started with the stress about what to wear and ended with existential dread about what I would witness (with my phobia of drugs) and what it would mean for Sean and I if I didn't love (or worse, couldn't tolerate) what he loves so much.
Has anyone ever been there with their partner?
As we know, anxiety, though we're compassionate with it, is a fat waste of time and energy, but alas. The day leading up to the event was jam-packed with events, family, friends, work, some tough news and travel. We were managing a lot (only fueling my tension). So the first night, I was UP TIGHT. I had to use an entire drum and bass (my favorite EDM genre) set to shake myself off, only to come back to baseline.
The second night (though I resisted going twice), was MUCH better. I actually relaxed, released, had so much fun and even felt some growth. Do I love EDM like my boyfriend? Not at all. But do I love dressing up, dancing, hanging out with people we love, and watching him have an amazing time? Yes. Will I go back? Maybe.
Here's what I liked about it...
1. The Freedom.
I love that at raves you can be basically naked, dancing like a maniac, staying up all night, eating pizza at 4:45 am and peeing in water bottles without anyone batting an eye.
2. PLUR culture/Kandi.
PLUR means "peace, love, unity, respect" and there's even a secret handshake of sorts about it. Besides that being a beautiful mantra in general, something I like about it is that people trade things like "kandi" (plastic beaded bracelets with little words like we made as kids) when they share a meaningful or memorable experience together. It's sweet. It encourages connection and a moment of giving and receiving.
3. The people who protected me.
As mentioned, I'm super freakii about drugs and alcohol (read more about it here). They trigger my fears of abandonment, inconsistency and unpredictability. In addition, I didn't even get vaccinated because I'm resistant to putting foreign substances in my body. And lastly, my greatest mission is to stay connected with self and others, authentically. I'm committed to taking the long road to being confident, loose and real with people. Now, it's been explained to me why people do what they do and the truth is, I WANT to be chill around it. I want to accept it. Being able to just be around it without judgment or anxiety is actually one of my greatest desires (it didn't used to be, but I don't want to have things that separate me from others). I'm still on my high horse about being a sober girl, but with work, I've knocked the legs down a few inches. EVERYONE deserves acceptance. My journey is mine, theirs is theirs.
NONETHELESS, it still freaks me out. Knowing that the EDM world is pretty big into drugs, I was worried I'd be focused on quelling myself the entire time and telling people (as calmly and nonchalantly as I possibly could) "no, thanks!" when they offered me cocaine. (My nightmare). But instead, I was lovingly protected by my boyfriend and our friends (who were not participating) the entire time. I was so grateful to them for their care and simple acknowledgment of my little quirk. It made my entire experience.
4. Helicoptering in.
Bougie, but being Sean's eighth EDC (bro), he insisted that the traffic in and out is just too obscene to keep doing. Helicoptering over the Vegas strip by night was actually on my bucket list for a long time and bobbing and weaving between its glitter and lights amidst the backdrop of the black desert was exhilarating and dazzling.
5. Dressing up.
Night one, my outfit was a little beaded and feathered bright orange set by Diosa and night two, it was an amalgamation of all things black and strappy by iHeartRaves (I pulled this together day of and got everything 50% off - *insert confetti emoji*). I loved being able to fully express two parts of my personality: my inner little sunshine showgirl // my inner little edgy dark queen. All these parts deserve a runway.
6. WW2.
I'm sure you're confused. And by the end of this, you'll be even more confused. Sean brought a pocketful of little pins to hand out to people (PLUR stuff). When he ordered them on Amazon, we'd sorted through them and giggled over the cute little dinosaurs, hearts, rainbows, joyful affirmations, etc. I picked a pink thing that looked like Jigglypuff. Sean handed out the pins to a group of friends of our friends.
"Which one did you get?" I asked the guy standing closest to me.
"World War Two, I think?" He replied.
I blinked a few times, racking my brain for a WWII pin in the mix of all things that looked like something out of a children's video game before finally asking, "are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was World War Two." He said.
"Can you show me?" I asked after another long pause of trying to imagine what that would even look like.
"Yeah, hold on." He dug through his satchel and pulled out a pin of a cat sitting on top of a watermelon.
Everyone looked at each other with the utmost confusion on their faces before bursting into laughter. I have no idea what that guy was on, but I have been laughing ever since.
7. The fireworks.
EDC stops all the music at one point in the night to display more fireworks than I've ever seen in my life. Is it good for the environment? No. Does that stress me out? Yes. Is it mesmerizing and beautiful? Yes.
8. DnB
DnB AKA "Drum and Bass" is an EDM genre with fast breakbeats and heavy bass-lines. To me, it's easier to dance to than other types of EDM, meaning, I can shake my butt and hips to it (this is essential to me). Three examples of songs I enjoy: Ready to Fly by Dimension & Sub Focus, MHITR by Hedex, DJ Turn It Up by Dimension.
9. Dancing.
My favorite thing. The most important thing I think humans can do.
